A Rant About Gym Pants

So, last weekend I decide that it is high time for me to replace some of my ratty looking gym clothes. I’m not one of those thong-wearing over spandex shorts type of gals, and I am fairly cognizant of the need for modesty. (Remember the Wrong Bra, Wrong Day incident?) And I definitely am not dressing to impress anyone at the gym – but at the same time, it behooves me to toss out the gym pants that have become so decrepit that the crotch is about to dissolve. No point in taking the risk of exposing my “charms” to fellow gym members and or/trainers. That’s how people get nick names like “Ms. Show’s-off-her-Crotch-a-lot” or “the Flasher” or “Hoo Hoo Girl”

So I decided to visit the local mall to check out my options. I figured that I would be able to walk in, grab a few pairs of black sweat pants off the rack and be on my way. No such luck. First of all, apparently women no longer wear “sweat” pants. No sir, not for us is the comfort and simplicity of something stretchy and forgiving. We have to don yoga wear, or active wear specifically designed to make us look tastefully healthy and svelte. We must coordinate our pants with matching tops and warm-up jackets which cost exorbitant amounts of money. $55.00 for a pair of gym pants? Are you kidding me?

Seriously, I searched everywhere for black sweats, but to no avail. And before you ask, no, I did not go to Wal-Mart… I will not shop at Wal-Mart EVER AGAIN!!!...(long story – different blog.) I had already decided to go home and figure out a way to shore up the crotch of my old pants, when I suddenly noticed a rack of sweats crammed into a corner at Zeller,s. And there they were… plain old black sweats, on sale for 8 bucks a pair. SCORE!!!!! Of course, all but one pair were 3 sizes too big for me, but I will treasure my new cheap comfy sweat pants forever. Or until Bikki reshapes my body and they start hanging off my butt.

I have to admit, that I also bought a pair of Yoga Pants… don’t ask me why. Perhaps they just called out to me like my little black dress… Oh no! what evilness has over taken me now?