It's official... I have fallen off the wagon... The "diet" wagon. Thanks to stupid 'ol Valentine's day. Since I started this journey, I have completely changed my eating habits. I have cut out white potatoes, pasta, rice, and all forms of junk food. My guilty pleasures these days have been 3 low sodium Triscuits with 2 tiny 1" x 1" wafer thin slices of cheese as a bedtime-treat. I did relax the rules a bit at Christmas, but managed to get back on track as soon as I got back home.
But on Saturday night, Eric and I went out for a Valentine's meal, and I have been plagued with cravings for all kinds of crap ever since. So, a confession is in order:
Forgive me trainer, for I have sinned...It's been 24 hours since my last workout.
I have craved for cheese burgers and fries, dreamed about cheesecake, fantasized about pizza and indulged in banana chocolate chip muffins (twice!). I ate 5 baby potatoes and white chocolate raspberry creme brule. I have pictured myself in bed with a bag of rosemary/garlic kettle-style potato chips (not naked, cause that's just wrong).I've nibbled twice on Eric's chocolate bars, and sniffed the wrappers after he went to bed. And I loved it!!! Love it I tell ya!
Is there rehab for food addicts like me?
Monday, February 16, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
For Sale... 1 pair of black gym pants - slightly used.
I have not posted much for the past few weeks, mainly because I don't have the energy or physical ability to lift the computer onto my lap. That's how hard Bikki works me and that's how hard I work myself. You can't argue with success, because the fat is melting away quicker than I had hoped for. Perhaps a bit too quickly
Due to my rapid shrinking,I have become one of those people at the gym who wear over sized clothing that although comfy, does not always do a good job of covering everything that should remained covered at all times.
I give much of the credit for my baggy gym pants to a simple exercise called the squat Not a very lady-like exercise but it gets the job done.
Now for those of you who are not familiar with the squat, picture this. I am standing with my feet shoulder width apart, hands crossed over my chest and I squat so that my thighs are parallel to the floor. The best way to know for sure that I am squatting low enough is to check myself out in the mirror. So, I do a few squats before realizing the i am sporting a noticeable "plumber's crack" which is not a fetching look no matter how spectacular one's tushy might be. Mine might be real, but it is definitely not spectacular...yet.
So all of a sudden, I am feeling a bit conflicted. I want to do the squats,[cause squats melt the fat,) but I don't want to traumatize the folks behind me. So I try to hike up my gym pants (my 8$ gym pants) and tie the string in the waist band tightly. Bad choice. Now the hem of my pants are barely clearing the tops of my socks, and the crotch is snugly wedged in my butt crack. This also, is not a fetching look. It all went down hill from there.
FYI... NEVER try doing a squat with your gym pants hiked up your "hoo hoo" unless you enjoy having a crowd of confused and horrified people watch as you extricate said gym pants from a place you're not supposed to touch...even in the dark.
I'm getting quite a reputation at the gym.
Due to my rapid shrinking,I have become one of those people at the gym who wear over sized clothing that although comfy, does not always do a good job of covering everything that should remained covered at all times.
I give much of the credit for my baggy gym pants to a simple exercise called the squat Not a very lady-like exercise but it gets the job done.
Now for those of you who are not familiar with the squat, picture this. I am standing with my feet shoulder width apart, hands crossed over my chest and I squat so that my thighs are parallel to the floor. The best way to know for sure that I am squatting low enough is to check myself out in the mirror. So, I do a few squats before realizing the i am sporting a noticeable "plumber's crack" which is not a fetching look no matter how spectacular one's tushy might be. Mine might be real, but it is definitely not spectacular...yet.
So all of a sudden, I am feeling a bit conflicted. I want to do the squats,[cause squats melt the fat,) but I don't want to traumatize the folks behind me. So I try to hike up my gym pants (my 8$ gym pants) and tie the string in the waist band tightly. Bad choice. Now the hem of my pants are barely clearing the tops of my socks, and the crotch is snugly wedged in my butt crack. This also, is not a fetching look. It all went down hill from there.
FYI... NEVER try doing a squat with your gym pants hiked up your "hoo hoo" unless you enjoy having a crowd of confused and horrified people watch as you extricate said gym pants from a place you're not supposed to touch...even in the dark.
I'm getting quite a reputation at the gym.
A posting from Judy Bagshaw
This posting comes your way from my cousin Judy Bagshaw, author of many books featuring a plus sized heroine. An amazing person and writer! Read on:
Far be it for me to pass up a direct challenge!! Please, please, pretty please, can I chair the international organization of REAL sized people?? The fashion industry in a word, sucks, for anyone above a size 14. And even the so-called plus sized stores cut off at size 24 much of the time. That just burns my waffles, let me tell you!! I haven't been a size 24 since...hm....let me see...can I remember that far back? For several years, I've been purchasing clothes from U.S. designers--designers whose clothes START at a size 22 and go up from there!!! Um...HELLO CANADIAN DESIGNERS!! Anyone up here have the...ahem...pincushions to start a company like that?? I guarantee that if you market well, the clothes will fly off the hangers. I've spent years writing letters to Pennington's head office and complaining and slowly I'm seeing some gradual, minute changes happening (like finally some bras for us gifted girls!!) but I can only live so long, and I'd like to see some serious change in my lifetime.
So, yeah, if this coalition of ticked off fashion cheated women gets off the ground...I'm THERE!!!
Far be it for me to pass up a direct challenge!! Please, please, pretty please, can I chair the international organization of REAL sized people?? The fashion industry in a word, sucks, for anyone above a size 14. And even the so-called plus sized stores cut off at size 24 much of the time. That just burns my waffles, let me tell you!! I haven't been a size 24 since...hm....let me see...can I remember that far back? For several years, I've been purchasing clothes from U.S. designers--designers whose clothes START at a size 22 and go up from there!!! Um...HELLO CANADIAN DESIGNERS!! Anyone up here have the...ahem...pincushions to start a company like that?? I guarantee that if you market well, the clothes will fly off the hangers. I've spent years writing letters to Pennington's head office and complaining and slowly I'm seeing some gradual, minute changes happening (like finally some bras for us gifted girls!!) but I can only live so long, and I'd like to see some serious change in my lifetime.
So, yeah, if this coalition of ticked off fashion cheated women gets off the ground...I'm THERE!!!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
O.k. people. It’s time to get some of you involved in contributing to this blog. I propose a debate on the clothing manufacturing industry. Hence the following resolution:
Resolved: That the design and manufacture of clothing should be controlled by an international organization of REAL sized people who can grasp the concept that life does not end at size 12.
Please email your responses to me by February 13, 2009.
There will be a reward for submitting a contribution.
Resolved: That the design and manufacture of clothing should be controlled by an international organization of REAL sized people who can grasp the concept that life does not end at size 12.
Please email your responses to me by February 13, 2009.
There will be a reward for submitting a contribution.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
And I Pay for This?????
Speaking 0f Sweat Pants...
Does anyone happen to know of any magical product that can control the obscene sweating and purplish hue that one gets after doing 100 squats, 50 lunges, 80 sit ups, 60 chest presses and too many step-up's on the big stepper to count... I would surely appreciate any recommendations you have. I have to tell you that I look REALLY REALLY "wrung out" after one of my workout's with Bikki.
Picture this: The workout starts out with me looking confident and motivated. After the first 20 leg presses and 20 step-up's on the big stepper, I still convey a look of determination and toughness, but I'm starting to "glow" a bit. After two more sets of leg presses and step-up's, my face is beet red, my hair is pasted to my forehead, and Bikki is walking to the next machine saying "c'mon let's go" and there's me out of breath, soaked with sweat, panting and running along behind him like a dog waiting for her master to throw the frisbee again.
As the workout progresses, I go from determined and tough to desperate and breathless. I'd be begging for my life if I had enough breath left to say anything, but Bikki seems to take my gasping for breath and looks of desperation as me saying "Please Sir may I have another". And he willingly obliges with a smile on his face as he points to a gym mat and says "25 abs crunches, let's go."
Eventually though, through the haze of dementia which has settled over me about half way through the workout, I hear the words I am longing for... "O.K. Jan that's it for today. Let's book the next workout." And there's me, laying in a pool of sweat, hair sticking out in all directions, purple as an eggplant, staggering to my feet, and FOLLOWING HIM TO BOOK MY NEXT WORKOUT!
I wonder if there's such a thing as green tea flavoured, bottled water with nitro glycerin additives.
Does anyone happen to know of any magical product that can control the obscene sweating and purplish hue that one gets after doing 100 squats, 50 lunges, 80 sit ups, 60 chest presses and too many step-up's on the big stepper to count... I would surely appreciate any recommendations you have. I have to tell you that I look REALLY REALLY "wrung out" after one of my workout's with Bikki.
Picture this: The workout starts out with me looking confident and motivated. After the first 20 leg presses and 20 step-up's on the big stepper, I still convey a look of determination and toughness, but I'm starting to "glow" a bit. After two more sets of leg presses and step-up's, my face is beet red, my hair is pasted to my forehead, and Bikki is walking to the next machine saying "c'mon let's go" and there's me out of breath, soaked with sweat, panting and running along behind him like a dog waiting for her master to throw the frisbee again.
As the workout progresses, I go from determined and tough to desperate and breathless. I'd be begging for my life if I had enough breath left to say anything, but Bikki seems to take my gasping for breath and looks of desperation as me saying "Please Sir may I have another". And he willingly obliges with a smile on his face as he points to a gym mat and says "25 abs crunches, let's go."
Eventually though, through the haze of dementia which has settled over me about half way through the workout, I hear the words I am longing for... "O.K. Jan that's it for today. Let's book the next workout." And there's me, laying in a pool of sweat, hair sticking out in all directions, purple as an eggplant, staggering to my feet, and FOLLOWING HIM TO BOOK MY NEXT WORKOUT!
I wonder if there's such a thing as green tea flavoured, bottled water with nitro glycerin additives.
A Rant About Gym Pants
So, last weekend I decide that it is high time for me to replace some of my ratty looking gym clothes. I’m not one of those thong-wearing over spandex shorts type of gals, and I am fairly cognizant of the need for modesty. (Remember the Wrong Bra, Wrong Day incident?) And I definitely am not dressing to impress anyone at the gym – but at the same time, it behooves me to toss out the gym pants that have become so decrepit that the crotch is about to dissolve. No point in taking the risk of exposing my “charms” to fellow gym members and or/trainers. That’s how people get nick names like “Ms. Show’s-off-her-Crotch-a-lot” or “the Flasher” or “Hoo Hoo Girl”
So I decided to visit the local mall to check out my options. I figured that I would be able to walk in, grab a few pairs of black sweat pants off the rack and be on my way. No such luck. First of all, apparently women no longer wear “sweat” pants. No sir, not for us is the comfort and simplicity of something stretchy and forgiving. We have to don yoga wear, or active wear specifically designed to make us look tastefully healthy and svelte. We must coordinate our pants with matching tops and warm-up jackets which cost exorbitant amounts of money. $55.00 for a pair of gym pants? Are you kidding me?
Seriously, I searched everywhere for black sweats, but to no avail. And before you ask, no, I did not go to Wal-Mart… I will not shop at Wal-Mart EVER AGAIN!!!...(long story – different blog.) I had already decided to go home and figure out a way to shore up the crotch of my old pants, when I suddenly noticed a rack of sweats crammed into a corner at Zeller,s. And there they were… plain old black sweats, on sale for 8 bucks a pair. SCORE!!!!! Of course, all but one pair were 3 sizes too big for me, but I will treasure my new cheap comfy sweat pants forever. Or until Bikki reshapes my body and they start hanging off my butt.
I have to admit, that I also bought a pair of Yoga Pants… don’t ask me why. Perhaps they just called out to me like my little black dress… Oh no! what evilness has over taken me now?
So I decided to visit the local mall to check out my options. I figured that I would be able to walk in, grab a few pairs of black sweat pants off the rack and be on my way. No such luck. First of all, apparently women no longer wear “sweat” pants. No sir, not for us is the comfort and simplicity of something stretchy and forgiving. We have to don yoga wear, or active wear specifically designed to make us look tastefully healthy and svelte. We must coordinate our pants with matching tops and warm-up jackets which cost exorbitant amounts of money. $55.00 for a pair of gym pants? Are you kidding me?
Seriously, I searched everywhere for black sweats, but to no avail. And before you ask, no, I did not go to Wal-Mart… I will not shop at Wal-Mart EVER AGAIN!!!...(long story – different blog.) I had already decided to go home and figure out a way to shore up the crotch of my old pants, when I suddenly noticed a rack of sweats crammed into a corner at Zeller,s. And there they were… plain old black sweats, on sale for 8 bucks a pair. SCORE!!!!! Of course, all but one pair were 3 sizes too big for me, but I will treasure my new cheap comfy sweat pants forever. Or until Bikki reshapes my body and they start hanging off my butt.
I have to admit, that I also bought a pair of Yoga Pants… don’t ask me why. Perhaps they just called out to me like my little black dress… Oh no! what evilness has over taken me now?
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